Slarty's World

So I am on jury duty and I have re-discovered how much people irritate me sometimes. In particular, people who feel that their time is more important than everyone else’s time. My latest experience happened last week during jury selection. This particular jury selection was excruciatingly long (at least it was for me), averaging 20 minutes per person. The judge and lawyers ask a bunch of questions trying to make sure the juror is not a racist, sexist, or shortpersonist. To make a long selection process short, this stockbroker volunteers the following facts:

1. Since he is a stock broker, he is trained to make quick judgments. He does not think that he would be a good jurist because he would probably make a quick and rash decision.
2. He thinks he met with the judge and the judge’s wife 4-5 years ago to go over his retirement. The judge did not remember him. (Even though the stockbroker says he could tell him how much he had in his pension).
3. Back in 1988, his father-in-law was convicted in a white collar crime. During this trial, he witnessed so many juror’s lie on the witness stand for political gain or to cover their asses that he doubted that he could trust any witness called.

After all of these statements, the judge would ask, do you think this will impair your ability to be fair and impartial? Each time, he would say in a very low and troubled tone, “I don’t know, I am just putting it out there so you can decide.” They interviewed this asshole for over an hour. It was obvious to everyone that he was just trying to get off the jury. He should have just said, “My time is much more valuable than all of these other lesser humans, so get me the fuck off of this jury.” What a sweetheart.